Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Dear Jon.....

Dear Jon,

Who do you think should win the American Idol competition? Why? Who do you think WILL win the competition?

Awaiting your reply,
Can't scrap 'til I know

Dear Can't scrap 'til I know,

For the good of America, David Archuleta should win. Why? He fits the American Idol mold perfectly.

Look at David Cook, ex-bartender, guitar slinging rocker, scruff sporting dude in his mid-twenties. Do you really think he wants to attend AI events into the next decade playing to the same family friendly, clever sign-sporting audience that watches AI every night? He’s a rocker, he wants to play guitar, sing songs with a little more edge and curse here and there without the scrutiny of America. He’s gotten everything he needs out of American Idol. He’s proven that he has enough talent to get to the finals, and he doesn’t need this contest to propel him to a career, because he’ll already have one. I’d be willing to bet that record labels have already called with “generous” offers of up to 2% of record sale revenue. They’ll probably even be so “kind” as to meddle in every possible creative aspect of his work. He’s gonna be fine on his own. Let him go be a rocker, and (slowly) shed his AI skin so that he can gain a little “street cred.”

Archuleta, on the other hand, will continue to look like a scared kitten in the spotlight well into the foreseeable future. He is the very essence of American Idol. He is a strong vocalist without aspirations to become a rocker. He attracts the tween and 30+ crowd. He’s family friendly. He’s Miley Cyrus without the risqué photos. He’ll be there to attend AI events and promote the AI brand. He’s cute and barring a drug problem in the future should continue to be cute well into his late 20’s. If he ever learns to act, he’ll be prime to play a high school sophomore role at age 27. It’s even possible that he needs the American Idol win to help him get a record deal. Archuleta should win.

Who do I think WILL win the competition?

Archuleta. American heckles Simon and pretends to hate him, but they hang on his every word.

Final Note: It’s probably in my personal best interest for DA to lose. That way the local Utah news can stop doing hour long segments about him. If he wins, I expect this will continue for at least another week.

Now, get scrapping,
Jon the Warehouse Guy

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hollystar said...

i think cosmo cricket just became my favorite sb "brand" thanks to this dear jon segment. i look forward to more... i wish i had a good dear jon question. like, maybe, when will my toddler understand that i need more time to scrap during the day. WHEN!!?!?!?

Abby Chase Designs said...

Ah yes, you must be from Utah too. Could we stand another week of that??